


i'll be your home

by taemochi



Series: better together [3]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, M/M, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-05-13 02:50:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19242310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taemochi/pseuds/taemochi
Summary: jaehyun teaches taeyong the importance of opening up.





	i'll be your home

**Author's Note:**

> hello! i know i haven't posted anything in a while, life has been pretty hectic. but i'm back and wanted to post this jaeyong drabble i knocked out in an hour because i was in my jaeyong feels as i always am. 
> 
> i'll probably write a short follow-up chapter to this soon in order to write more fluff lol
> 
> unbeta-ed :p 
> 
> hope you enjoy!

it’s a little too much sometimes. 

all the cameras, the traveling, the practicing. having your best face forward at all times, because there’s always someone watching. being the leader of the group, the pressure never really goes away, and sometimes taeyong’s knees buckle -- just a little bit. 

of course, he wouldn’t trade it for anything. he’s grateful for everything that they’ve accomplished so far. this has been his dream, _their dream_ , for so long that finally being recognized for their efforts conquers the feeling of every late night in the practice room, every breakdown, and every sacrifice. 

the feeling of pride and joy that bubbles up in his chest when he comes out on the stage and sees a sea of fluorescent green is indescribable. all those people, supporting and loving them unconditionally. it pushes him to aim higher, to reach as close to perfection as he can possibly get, even if it means his body will be aching most of the time. the screams and the happiness of the fans are fuel enough. 

well, almost enough. 

although he’s been told hundreds of times that he’s too perfect to be human, it doesn’t change the fact that he is. 

there have been plenty of times where he’s waited until everyone had gone back to the dorms or fallen asleep before he started to cry, putting up a strong front for everyone else because he felt like it was his duty. because if he showed weakness, showed how much of a toll it took on him, what would happen to the rest of the team’s morale? he needed to stay strong in order for the group to remain pulled together. for them to see that even though it’s hard, they would get through it. 

the method worked for a while. taeyong even thought he could make it to their debut date without being found out. but the universe had other plans, in the form of a boy named jung jaehyun. 

when he had initially met jaehyun, taeyong felt jealousy rear its ugly head in his heart. a choreography that would take him an entire night to memorize, jaehyun would have in a couple of hours. when he struggled to get his tone right for a song, jaehyun would step into the booth and sing effortlessly. taeyong had been a trainee for a longer amount of time, but jaehyun had a natural talent. it would have been easy to hate him, if the circumstances were different. but jaehyun is humble, and kind, and patient; always willing to help someone if they needed it. 

but there was also a fire in his eyes, a determination that intrigued taeyong. jaehyun was more critical of himself than anyone else, and taeyong could relate to that, if nothing else. with time, the initial jealousy he felt towards jaehyun turned into motivation to improve. he practiced longer, saw their vocal coach more often, and wrote lyrics whenever he had free time, even if it turned out bad. eventually, the long hours paid off and his efforts showed with his performances. he glowed with the compliments he received. now he’s able to stand next to jaehyun instead of always feeling like he’s a few steps behind. 

of course, there will always be days that are more difficult than others. when he’s tired and can’t figure out why he can’t get the timing right or can’t enunciate his words how he wants. the days where he prefers to find an empty practice room instead of being with everybody else because he’s frustrated with himself and wants to be alone. 

jaehyun seeks him out on one of those nights, when taeyong is breathing heavily, body covered in a layer of sweat, glaring at himself in the mirror. 

“taeyong?” jaehyun’s voice is soft, cautious. 

taeyong considers just ignoring him for a moment, but he knows jaehyun isn’t the type of person who would just leave. 

“i’m not really looking for company,” he says, not bothering to face jaehyun, who is still standing in the doorway. 

jaehyun catches his gaze in the mirror, concern flashing through his eyes before he fully steps into the room and lets the door close behind him. he continues to walk until he’s only a few feet away from where taeyong is standing. 

“do you want to talk about it?” jaehyun speaks to him like he’s a wild animal that could bolt at any second. 

“no.” 

jaehyun sighs quietly. “i think it would be good if you did. isolating yourself whenever you’re frustrated instead of talking to someone about it isn’t good for you.” 

“and you think that someone should be you?” taeyong asks dryly, raising an eyebrow. 

the corner of jaehyun’s lips turn downwards at his response, and taeyong realizes belatedly that he’s being mean for no reason. 

“it doesn’t have to be me, it can be anyone you want it to be,” jaehyun replies curtly, turning towards the door again. “sorry for disturbing you, i’ll just go.” 

“wait,” taeyong blurts, mouth moving before his brain catches up. 

jaehyun’s eyes are steely when they make eye contact, and taeyong’s skin suddenly feels itchy under his gaze. 

“i’m sorry, that was rude of me. i just don’t like to show myself struggling in front of others. this has always been my solution.” 

jaehyun’s face softens when taeyong finishes speaking. “i understand that you want to maintain your strong image, but please don’t do it if it’s going to negatively affect you. no one is going to think less of you if you’re not perfect all the time. that’s what it means to be human.”

taeyong lets out a snort to hide the fact that his heart has started beating a little faster. 

“wow, didn’t know you were so profound.” 

a small smile grows on jaehyun’s face as he looks away, dimples starting to show. “i try my best.” 

“well, that’s really the root of my problem. i want to be a role model for you all, the one you can come to when you’re having trouble,” taeyong says slowly, tongue feeling heavy in his mouth. “i feel like if i falter or show myself breaking down, the rest of the team will be affected negatively as a result, and that’s the last thing i want. i want to be the one that everyone can rely on, the one who will take more of the burden if it means everyone else will be able to breathe easier.”

he doesn’t know why he’s deciding to open up now, after all these years of keeping it all bottled up inside. he doesn’t want sympathy, nor does he need it, but the lump rising in his throat and the sting of salty tears at the backs of his eyes appear involuntarily as the memories flash through his mind. he stares at the floor resolutely, trying to keep his breathing even so jaehyun doesn’t notice how his body has become so tense it’s starting to shake. 

there’s silence for what feels like an eternity until taeyong hears footsteps heading in his direction. they don’t stop until he can see jaehyun’s worn down shoes in his line of vision. 

taeyong jolts when he feels a pair of arms circle around him lightly, as if he’s being given the option to pull away. when he doesn’t, jaehyun hugs him more securely, their chests now touching just barely. 

taeyong hesitates before bringing his arms up to wrap around jaehyun’s waist, and then the dam breaks. tears fall silently, and he leans his face against jaehyun’s shirt in an attempt to muffle his sniffles. his shoulders shake lightly, and jaehyun tightens his grip. 

it’s the first time jaehyun has ever initiated any kind of physical contact other than the occasional high five, handshake, or pat on the back. taeyong can faintly smell the lavender detergent jaehyun uses on his clothes, and an underlying scent of mahogany and _warmth_. the tension bleeds out of taeyong’s body as he concentrates on breathing, his knuckles turning white from how hard he’s gripping the back of jaehyun’s shirt. 

jaehyun moves a hand to place on the back of taeyong’s head, patting comfortingly. “it’s okay, i know it must have been hard for you. let it out, i’m right here,” he says, voice barely above a whisper. 

so taeyong does. jaehyun continues to pat his head, the repetitive motion grounding him as he cries until he runs out of tears and his eyes are bloodshot. 

taeyong pulls away first, heat rising to the tips of his ears when he sees the big wet stain on jaehyun’s shirt. he’s about to apologize when jaehyun moves both hands to gently cup taeyong’s face, wiping away the residual tears with his thumbs. 

“feel better?” 

taeyong nods, sucking his lower lip into his mouth and gnawing on it. he can’t believe he just cried in front of and on jaehyun. 

jaehyun ducks his head lower to forcibly make eye contact. “hey, you don’t need to feel embarrassed. i’m glad you got it out of your system instead of holding it in. thank you for trusting me.” 

“i should be thanking you, and also apologizing for crying all over your shirt,” taeyong replies, eyeing the stain once again. 

jaehyun looks down at his shirt like he hadn't noticed until now. “it’s no big deal, i can just throw it in the washer.”

taeyong places a hand on jaehyun’s shoulder and takes a breath before speaking again. 

“i appreciate you making the effort to talk to me. i probably would’ve kept hiding away if you hadn’t, and you were right, it isn’t healthy. i’ll try to express how i feel more often from now on. thank you, i mean it.” 

a light dusting of pink coats jaehyun’s cheeks, and he takes taeyong by surprise when he pulls him in for another hug. 

“don’t bottle things up anymore, okay? i’ll always be here if you need me. all of us are here if you need us.” 

taeyong makes a sound of agreement and jaehyun lets him go, smiling fully now. taeyong smiles back. 

“wanna go back to the other practice room with me?” jaehyun asks, looking at taeyong expectantly. 

and who was taeyong to say no?

**Author's Note:**

> [twitter](http://www.twitter.com/peachyhoneys)  
> [curiouscat](http://www.curiouscat.me/fairy_vmin)
> 
> <3


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